


Micro-Aggressions

by QueenieLacy



Series: Lose Control [16]
Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Language, M/M, Racism, gender non-conforming, micro-aggressions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22867522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenieLacy/pseuds/QueenieLacy
Summary: T’Challa and Erik are in NY for a UN conference when T’Challa experiences something Erik is all to familiar with
Relationships: Erik Killmonger/T'Challa
Series: Lose Control [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1219835
Comments: 6
Kudos: 132





	Micro-Aggressions

Their shoulders brushed against each other as they moved down the crowded 5th Avenue in New York City. T’Challa and N’Jadaka were back in the United States, scheduled to visit the United Nations Headquarters tomorrow. They arrived in New York City early and decided to take advantage of their free time. 

T’Challa had the Doras accompanying them stay back at the hotel. He doubted he would have any trouble in the city and he always had his suit if something did happen. The Doras were weary of their king’s orders, but respected them and stayed at the hotel. This allowed the couple to explore the city alone and at their pace, not worrying they were dragging their Doras around too much.

“You know we have been to New York City many times, but this is the first time I am really seeing it.” T’Challa admitted and N’Jadaka nodded.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s aight.” N’Jadaka said as they walked the streets, moving closer to T’Challa to get out of the way of a fast walker. “Maybe it’s the Cali in me but I don’t know what everybody see in this city.” He admitted and T’Challa nodded.

“I think people just like the...fast pace here.” The king explained. “California is a bit relaxed.” 

“It’s dirty here.” N’Jadaka added as they walked the streets, passing by bags of trash set out on the corner for pick-up. T’Challa chuckled and bumped his shoulder against N’Jadaka’s on purpose.

“Yes, princess can’t get his shoes dirty.” The king teased. 

“Aye, be quiet.” N’Jadaka lightly pushed T’Challa and the king laughed at him. “You da one dat’s gonna have to replace my shoes if they get ruined by these dirty streets. I’m tryna save you money.” He explained as T’Challa moved back to stand near him.

“Sure you are.” T’Challa smiled and let out a little laugh. “It is an interesting city. A good mix of people, they are a bit rude thought. They do need to improve their transportation systems. It is very inefficient. I am sure Shuri would have a good time redesigning the subway system and all of the above ground transportation. I know you don’t want to give the US government direct control of vibranium but I really th-.” T’Challa stopped mid-sentence to look over at N’Jadaka and realized he was no longer next to him. 

“N’Jadaka.” He said as he looked around. He felt his heart pounding in his chest and his palms start to get sweaty. He felt his stomach coil, and his mouth dried. It felt like he was about to have a panic attack. 

T’Challa quickly turned around and walked back toward the direction they just came from, looking around and bumping into people as he looked for his lover. “N’Jadaka!” He yelled out as he moved through the crowd. 

His heart rate sped up as T’Challa started to jog through the crowd again. He was starting to really get worried as horrible thoughts briefly went through his mind. What if someone took N’Jadaka? What if N’Jadaka was hurt? “N’Jad-.” He stopped when he laid eyes on his lover. He let out a sigh of relief as he found the man, staring into a shop window. 

T’Challa allowed his heart rate to calm down before moving over to stand behind N’Jadaka. He looked up at the window display and saw what his lover was looking at. The mannequin in the window display was wearing a shiny three-quarter sleeve sequin dress. It would fit the wearer tight and show off all their curves. The dress was short, it would fall slightly above the knee to show off the wearer’s long legs and bit of thigh. The mannequin was also wearing gold glitter open toe high heels that had a thick strap that went around the ankle. T’Challa couldn’t stop his mind from wandering off and thinking how good N’Jadaka’s legs would look in those heels.

“Do you want this?” T’Challa asked after he cleared his mind of his dirty thoughts. N’Jadaka jumped and quickly turned around to face T’Challa. 

“Damn, you scared a nigga.” N’Jadaka said, his hand above his heart. He let out a deep breath and tried to calm down.

“I apologize.” T’Challa said as he stepped into N’Jadaka’s space. “So, do you want to get this?” T’Challa asked again and watched N’Jadaka bite his lip. T’Challa reached up and rubbed N’Jadaka’s arm to soothe the anxiety T’Challa could see in his eyes. 

His lover still had trouble exploring and admitting his own desires even in the safe environment that T’Challa tried to create for him. N’Jadaka spent so much of his time telling himself those thoughts were wrong that he really started to believe what he was thinking. It was hard to reverse a line of thought once it was ingrained into someone. 

“Deja Vu…” N’Jadaka mumbled out.

“What?” T’Challa questioned. “What about this is giving you Deja Vu?”

“I just-.” N’Jadaka stopped to look over his shoulder at the dress and then back at T’Challa. “Forget it, let’s go.” He said and tried to walk away but T’Challa quickly grabbed him, stopping him in tracks.

“No, tell me.” T’Challa urged. He wanted to know what N’Jadaka was talking about. N’Jadaka looked down at his feet before looking up at T’Challa.

“You betta not laugh.” N’Jadaka warned. 

“When have I ever laughed at you?” T’Challa asked rhetorically. N’Jadaka nodded at the response. T’Challa had never once laughed at him whenever he revealed something intimate about himself or try something he thought he might like. He always tried his best to accommodate him even if he didn’t understand. 

“I-I had a dream about that dress.” N’Jadaka admitted and then moved his head to slightly look away from T’Challa. “I was in it.” He mumbled but T’Challa could still hear him even with the noise of the city around them because of the heart shaped herb increasing his hearing range. T’Challa smiled and leaned into N’Jadaka, pressing his forehead to his lover.

“Bast gave you a vision.” T’Challa explained as N’Jadaka rolled his eyes. “So that means we must get it.” He added before grabbing N’Jadaka’s hand. He pulled away and moved to drag N’Jadaka into the store. 

It was a nice boutique with light brown colored hardwood floors and white walls with cliche sayings painted beautifully on the wall. N’Jadaka could tell this was one of them bougie expensive places by the way the customer service representatives were dressed, in business suits and the women with their hair in updos out of the fifties and men with their hair cut low. He caught the eye of one of the workers and she frowned at him before starting to move closer to them. He quickly turned away and looked over at T’Challa.

“Baby, it’s cool. I don’t want it. Let’s go.” N’Jadaka said quickly. He really liked the dress and he definitely wanted it, but he felt off in the store. He didn’t like the vibe the workers were giving off.

“Nonsense.” T’Challa started as he looked around the store to find the dress in the window. “Bast gave you that vision and we cannot disobey her...now where is it?” He said as he looked around, but couldn’t find it. The king turned around and saw the worker that frowned at N’Jadaka earlier. 

“Oh, hello.” T’Challa started as he moved toward the lady, dragging N’Jadaka along with him. “I would like to purchase the dress that is in the window, but I cannot find it on a rack. Are you out of stock?” He questioned. The woman gave him a fake smile as she looked both of them up and down. They were both in casual clothing and they didn’t wear any flashy jewelry, so no one got the idea to rob them. T’Challa just had the necklace for his suit around his neck. N’Jadaka’s jeans were sagging a little and his locks were down, his gold framed glasses slipped low on his nose and he used his finger to push them back up. 

“The dress in the window?” She questioned and then turned to point at the gold dress. “That dress?” She asked and T’Challa nodded with a smile.

“Yes, that dress.” He answered. “And the shoes too.” He added. 

The middle aged white woman, who’s name tag read ‘Becky’, gave T’Challa a fake laugh and N’Jadaka sighed because he knew exactly where this was going. “Sir, I don’t think you want that dress.” She said and T’Challa frowned. 

“Yes, I do want that dress and the shoes to match it.” T’Challa retorted, confused by her words. N’Jadaka wondered if he should jump in, but decided to watch the lady dig her own grave.

“Well sir.” She began. “That dress is very expensive...too expensive for you and your homie.” She said and N’Jadaka visibly cringed at use of the word homie. “I would suggest the outlet store or Forever 21.” She said with a fake smile. 

T’Challa’s eyebrow raised and N’Jadaka felt the grip on his hand tighten. He could tell the man was furious with her comment. He had to do something before he killed this old white lady and ended up in jail.

“Look. you-.”

“You think I cannot afford that dress?” T’Challa questioned, his voice low and a few octaves deeper than normal. N’Jadaka’s eyes widen once he heard T’Challa. He knew that voice, that was his ‘I am really angry and I am about to fuck some shit up’ voice. “And the shoes too?”

“T’Challa-.” N’Jadaka started but the king cut him off.

“No, N’Jadaka. This lady thinks we cannot afford anything in this store because our skin happens to be darker than hers.” He said as he continued to stare at her. “Because we are...what did she say, N’Jadaka?”

“Homies?” N’Jadaka said and smirked at the lady. 

“What does that mean?” T’Challa asked.

“It means…” N’Jadaka decided to add a bit of drama to the standard definition of the word. “It means she thinks we're friends from da ghetto, da hood. Her old white ass think us niggas in a gang or some shit because my jeans hang low and since you got an accent, we must be poe’.” He said and gave her a fake smile. “Ain’t that right?”

Becky let out a nervous laugh. “I just thought you might be more comfortable somewhere else.”

“Or you would be more comfortable if we were somewhere else.” T’Challa spoke. “Two physically imposing black men in your store.”

“Aye, she think we gonna rob ‘em.” N’Jadaka egged T’Challa on. 

“Do we scare you...Becky?” He asked, trailing off to get her name off the tag. “We should scare you.” T’Challa growled and N’Jadaka smiled proudly. “I could take everything in this store and there would be nothing you could do about it.” He added and his eyes changed, glowing as he let his panther spirit control him. The woman looked at him in horror as she watched his eyes change. 

“You done fucked up, bitch.” N’Jadaka said and gave her a smirk. 

“Excuse me, is everything okay here?” A white man walked up to the group and interjected himself. T’Challa blinked, eyes going back to normal as he looked the woman up and down before looking at the man. T’Challa read his name tag and saw that it said ‘manager’ below his name. 

“Your sales associate is a racist.” He stated calmly. The man’s eyes widened in shock.

“What?” He questioned.

“She believes we cannot afford anything in this store because we are black and that we will rob your store.” T’Challa explained. 

“I didn’t say that.” The white woman quickly said.

“No, you did.” N’Jadaka said and then let out a chuckle. “Funny how you didn’t deny being a racist.”

“I-I am not a racist.” She quickly added. 

The white man cleared his throat. “Um, let’s remain calm an-.” He stopped when T’Challa raised his hand.

“Do you know who you are speaking to?” He asked the woman. “You are in the presence of royalty. A king!” He exclaimed as he pointed to himself. He then stepped to the side so N’Jadaka was on full view. “Do you know who he is?” He asked as he pointed at N’Jadaka. “He holds true power. He has the power to make your life better. You should be falling at his feet, worshiping him but you think just because his pants hang low that he is a robber. It’s a pity really.” He said and used his free hand to reach into his pocket. T’Challa pulled out a wad of American money and the two store workers’ eyes widened. “I wanted to spend this on him.”

“You can still spend it on me.” N’Jadaka smirked and T’Challa nodded.

“Right, I will spend this on you elsewhere.” He said before pocketing the money. He looked over at the white lady and scoffed. “Just know that I could buy everything in this store, including you, four hundred times over and it would not put a dent in my personal funds.” T’Challa finished with her and tugged N’Jadaka’s hand. “Let’s go.” 

“Sir, I am extremely sorry.” The man started, following T’Challa and N’Jadaka as they made their way through the store. “Please, stay. I can make this up to you with a hefty discount.”

“I don’t need your discounts.” T’Challa said, not turning around to look at him. “You need to give your staff classes on diversity before you lose out on more sales.” The king stated before leaving the store with N’Jadaka in tow. He felt angry as they walked down the street. How dare that woman treat them like this! 

“Mm, I think I might of found that same dress at another store.” T’Challa looked over and saw N’Jakada typing at the phone with his free hand, researching the dress that was in the window. T’Challa stopped walking and turned to face N’Jadaka. The man looked up from his phone and gave him a confused look.

“How are you so calm about this?” T’Challa questioned. “I feel as if I need to punch something.”

N’Jadaka shrugged. “I’m used to it.” He said and then it dawned on T’Challa. N’Jadaka grew up with this type of treatment, forgetting the man didn’t grow up in the paradise that was Wakanda. He was used to the judgement he received based off his appearance.

“I peeped dat ol’ hoe when we walked in. She was frownin’ and shit and I knew it was gonna be an issue. She was more direct than I thought she would be tho.” T’Challa stepped forward and quickly pulled N’Jadaka into a hug. This surprised the other man but quickly returned the hug. “T’Challa.”

“I’m sorry.” T’Challa spoke as he hugged him. He could see a small N’Jadaka being followed around a store. He could imagine a teenage N’Jadaka being suspiciously watched by a store security guard. “You didn’t deserve that. No one does.” He said and N’Jadaka let out a sigh. 

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.” N’Jadaka said. “But...I hope you see why I was so-.”

“I know.” T’Challa said and then pulled back so he could look N’Jadaka in the eyes. “We’re going to make this world a better place. I promise.” He said before pressing a kiss to N’Jadaka’s forehead. N’Jadaka closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as the king kissed his forehead. T’Challa pulled back a few seconds later. “Where else can we get that dress?” He asked and N’Jadaka chuckled. 

“There’s another shop on Madison.” He answered. 

“Shoes too?” He questioned and N’Jadaka nodded. T’Challa smiled. “Come on, let’s go.”

* * *

“N’Jadaka, come out of the bathroom.” T’Challa pleaded. After they found the new shop and bought the outfit, the couple headed back to the hotel. T’Challa asked N’Jadaka to put the outfit on and said he would dress in his suit so N’Jadaka wouldn’t feel too out of place. T’Challa dressed in his all black suit, a gold kente wrapped around him to match N’Jadaka. He ordered room service and had a nice meal set up for them on the balcony, but there was one problem. N’Jadaka wouldn’t come out of the bathroom.

“Baby…” T’Challa knocked. “I know you are dressed. I can hear the heels clicking on the floor.”

“Shit!” T’Challa heard N’Jadaka swear and the king shook his head. “You gon’ laugh.” He reasoned. 

“I have never laughed at you N’Jadaka.” T’Challa reminded him.

“Well, first time for everything.” N’Jadaka replied and T’Challa sighed. 

“How do you feel? Do you like the dress?” He asked and there was a pause. 

“Yeah, I like it.” N’Jadaka finally answered. “It’s cute.”

“Do you feel good wearing it?” T’Challa asked. 

“I feel…” N’Jadaka trailed off as he tried to find the right word. “Comfortable.”

“Comfortable?” T’Challa questioned. He couldn’t imagine the short dress and heels being comfortable.

“Yeah like...I’m a dude in a dress but I don’t feel weird about it. I know I like to wear shit like this sometimes but…”

“But?” T’Challa wanted him to continue.

“But What about chu?” N’Jadaka asked.

“What about me?” T’Challa asked. “You know I am comfortable with this.” He added. “I have never discouraged this. I just want you to be happy, N’Jadaka.” T’Challa waited for N’Jadaka to say something, but he was silent. The king sighed before walking over to the bed and sitting down, facing the bathroom. He rubbed his hands together and hung his head as he thought of how to get N’Jadaka out of the bathroom. He could break down the door, but he wanted that to be his last resort.

After a few minutes, he heard the lock on the bathroom door click. He looked up in time to see the door opening. N’Jadaka stepped out, wearing the beautiful gold dress and pretty heels. The dress fit him perfectly, showing off his hourglass shape. The dress stopped a little above his knee, so he could see a bit of N’Jadaka’s thick thighs and his long legs looked incredibly sexy in the heels. “T’Challa, you droolin’.”

“What?” The king quickly closed his mouth as he grabbed the t-shirt that was on the bed and wiped away the spit. He threw the shirt down on the floor before getting up and quickly moving over to N’Jadaka. “You look…” He trailed off as he took N’Jadaka’s hand and looked him up and down. “Wow, turn.” He said and lifted his hand to slowly spin N’Jadaka around, seeing all of him in the dress. N’Jadaka laughed at his reaction. 

You really like it?” He questioned as he looked at T’Challa through his lashes. 

“I love it.” T’Challa quickly answered. “Come here.” He said and led N’Jadaka out to the balcony where their dinner was waiting on a small square table. The candles lit up the balcony in a soft glow and the roses made it smell sweet. The two lovers sat across from one another and ate, holding hands across the table as they used the other to eat. The couple ate in a comfortable silence. Well, N’Jadaka ate. T’Challa mostly stared in awe at how gorgeous N’Jadaka was. N’Jadaka was about half way through his meal when he let out a deep sigh.

“What’s wrong?” T’Challa quickly asked. “You don’t like the food?”

“No, no, the food is real good.” N’Jadaka said quickly. “I’m just thinkin’ about the future and gettin’ too far ahead of myself.”

“Tell me what is on your mind.” T’Challa said as his thumb ran over the top of N’Jadaka’s hand.

“I’m not...I wouldn’t wear this in public.” N’Jadaka started and T’Challa nodded. “But what if one day, I wanna wear somethin’ like this out? Like, I don’t think I ever would but...How you gon’ take me out lookin’ like this?”

T’Challa gave N’Jadaka a confused look. “What are you talking about? You look beautiful.” 

N’Jadaka sighed. “Stop thinkin’ wit yo’ dick and think wit yo’ head.” He ordered. “Who gon’ take you seriously when you got a dude in a dress on yo’ arm?”

“You know in Wakanda-.”

“I’m not talkin’ about Wakanda, T’Challa.” N’Jadaka interrupted him. “Wakanda is open to rest of the world. You goin’ to the UN tomorrow to give a speech on human rights. You finna be a world leader, THE world leader and...if I stood next to you in this dress while you gave that speech, you think they would take you seriously? Or your words seriously? I don’t wanna bring you down.”

T’Challa sighed before he spoke. “Come here.” He said and made N’Jadaka stand up. The man stood up and the king pulled him down to sit on his lap. “You are operating under a false notion.” He started as N’Jadaka settled on his lap. “You are operating under this notion that I care about their perception of me. I do not care what they think of me. I do not need them for anything. I do not need to make friends, but they need to make friends with me. They need me to like them and if they are smart, they will tell you how pretty you look in this dress.”

“But-.”

“No buts.” T’Challa cut him off. “You could never bring me down, N’Jadaka. You are the one that truly opened my eyes and made me realize what I had to do and after today…” He trailed off as he remembered the old white lady in the store. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. “You have taken me to new heights.” He said as he looked at N’Jadaka. He smiled before leaning in to press a kiss to N’Jadaka’s lips. “And I want to take you with me.” He added before kissing him again. “And tonight…” T’Challa said as he slipped his hand under N’Jadaka’s knee. “I am going to take you to knew heights.” T’Challa promised as he stood up with N’Jadaka in his arms.

N’Jadaka laughed as he slipped his arms around T’Challa’s neck. “You betta not rip my dress. You know how impatient you get.”

“I’ll just buy you another one.” T’Challa spoke as he walked back into the suite. “In fact, I was thinking about buying that store.”

“T’Challa...I have an idea.”

After T’Challa gave his great speech at the United Nations, the couple took a ride downtown to the shop they visited yesterday. The coupled hadn’t changed, T’Challa and N’Jadaka were both in suits with kente clothes wrapped over their shoulders. “This is the place?” Okoye asked and they nodded as they stood on the street.

“Let’s hope our racist white lady is here.” N’Jadaka said before stepping inside of the store.

The white manager was the first to greet them as the arrived. “Sirs!” He exclaimed. “I am happy you came back. Let me just say-.” T’Challa raised his hand to silence the man.

“I am here to inform you that you are fired.” T’Challa said and looked behind the manager to she the racist white lady and a few other employees. “You are all fired.” He said, making eye contact with the racist woman.

“You can’t fire me!” The manager exclaimed.

“Yeah, we can.” N’Jadaka said and handed the manager a piece of paper. “Bought this spot last night from the owner. He said we could what we wanted wit so...bye-bye.” He gave the man a wave. 

“Bring them in.” T’Challa said to Okoye and she waved. A few seconds later, movers came in and started to rid the space of the clothing and other items. “I am thinking we can knock down the wall and just make this one long space.” T’Challa said as he took N’Jadaka’s hand. 

“Yeah, I think that’s cool. We don’t need a backroom.” He added as they walked over to the side so they were out of the way of the movers. They watched as the racist white lady walked past them, staring them down before leaving the shop. “She wanted to yell nigga so bad.” N’Jadaka chuckled. 

“She made the right choice to stay silent.” T’Challa said as the lady walked out of the store. He turned his attention back to his lover. “This will make a great outreach center.”

N’Jadaka nodded and gave T’Challa a small smile. “It will.” 

T’Challa caught a gold glint out of the corner of his eye and turned his head. “Hey!” He yelled out to a mover that was holding the gold dress they tried to buy yesterday. “I want that dress. Be gentle with it please.”

“Yes, your majesty.” The mover said before going to pack it up nicely. 

N’Jadaka laughed. “I already have that dress.” 

T’Challa smirked and gave him a little shrug. “Remember, I am impatient. I will rip it eventually.” N’Jadaka shook his head. 

“Aye, you betta learn to control yo’self.” N’Jadaka playfully warned. 

“When it comes to you.” T’Challa said and pulled N’Jadaka against his body. “I don’t want to.”


End file.
